Substitute Reality

I reject your reality and substitute my own

32,231 notes

soaringrachel:

sea-change:

they also went to the louvre together to, like, check out the dicks on statues for comparison just to calm scott the fuck down.
(i can just picture them, scott being his usual neurotic self, and ernest just like, ‘give me strength. are you fucking kidding me? i nearly died in the war. i have a fucking medal of bravery. and we’re looking at cocks together. gatsby can only take you so far, my friend. you better write another goddamn masterpiece soon.’)


#the long version of this story is actually much better #because scott asks hemingway to have lunch with him and the first thing he says to hemingway when they’re there is ‘so you know how i’ve … #…never slept with anyone but zelda’#hemingway is like #…what #scott says so i was fighting with zelda the other day and she told me i wasn’t …adequate #hemingway is like … #…OH #he says: scott let’s go into the men’s bathroom #they go into the men’s bathroom #they come out of the men’s bathroom #hemingway says scott you are PERFECTLY FINE #scott is all B BUT WHY WOULD ZELDA SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAAAAAT #hemingway just. does not comment on zelda fitzgerald. #(that’s a fucking lie hemingway comments so hard on zelda fitzgerald) #scott says WELL I STILL FEEL BAD #hemingway says OKAY FRIEND HERE IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO #WE ARE GOING TO GO TO THE LOUVRE #AND YOU CAN LOOK AT ALL THE COCKS YOU WANT #OKAY???? #scott is like …sniffle; okay #they go to the louvre #scott feels even worse #hemingway kind of sees his point #he says ‘look scott do you want me to just give you some fucking tips’ #scott is all …yes #hemingway gives him some tips #which according to his memoirs include ‘the trick with the pillow’ #and much much more #and well zelda and scott stayed married
 

soaringrachel:

sea-change:

they also went to the louvre together to, like, check out the dicks on statues for comparison just to calm scott the fuck down.

(i can just picture them, scott being his usual neurotic self, and ernest just like, ‘give me strength. are you fucking kidding me? i nearly died in the war. i have a fucking medal of bravery. and we’re looking at cocks together. gatsby can only take you so far, my friend. you better write another goddamn masterpiece soon.’)

(Source: iluvalbertfishstickz, via the42towels)

Filed under F. Scott Fitzgerald

23 notes

You people of the South don’t know what you are doing. This country will be drenched in blood, and God only knows how it will end. It is all folly, madness, a crime against civilization! You people speak so lightly of war; you don’t know what you’re talking about. War is a terrible thing! You mistake, too, the people of the North. They are a peaceable people but an earnest people, and they will fight, too. They are not going to let this country be destroyed without a mighty effort to save it… Besides, where are your men and appliances of war to contend against them? The North can make a steam engine, locomotive, or railway car; hardly a yard of cloth or pair of shoes can you make. You are rushing into war with one of the most powerful, ingeniously mechanical, and determined people on Earth — right at your doors. You are bound to fail. Only in your spirit and determination are you prepared for war. In all else you are totally unprepared, with a bad cause to start with. At first you will make headway, but as your limited resources begin to fail, shut out from the markets of Europe as you will be, your cause will begin to wane. If your people will but stop and think, they must see in the end that you will surely fail.

-William Tecumseh Sherman in comments to Prof. David F. Boyd at the Louisiana State Seminary, December 24, 1860. The dude called how the entire thing was going to play out. (via oceanicsteam)

Sherman was one shrewd sonofagun!!!  If only more people had listened…

(via chaosfive55)

Why can you not just listen to me?

(via generalwilliamtecumsehsherman)

(via generalwilliamtecumsehsherman)

Filed under Civil War William Tecumseh Sherman

20,195 notes

assholedisney:

CAN WE JUST TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE THESE MOTHERFUCKING BOOKS

image

these fake ass diaries that were SO WELL WRITTEN that your 10-year-old self was about a million percent convinced that someone’s ratty ass diary survived the sinking of the Titanic and became a national best seller 

THEY COVERED FUCKIN EVERYTHING

Read More

Filed under my childhood

11 notes

bartlet4america:

First I laugh at the ridiculous length of this handshake and then I cry because what if Buford was the last person ever to shake Reynold’s hand?  Then, once I’ve recovered from my feelings, I repeat this cycle until I’m done with this terrible wonderful absolutely heartbreaking movie.

I had some major Reynolds feels when I went to Gettysburg. The last place I asked we visit was the site where he got killed.

bartlet4america:

First I laugh at the ridiculous length of this handshake and then I cry because what if Buford was the last person ever to shake Reynold’s hand?  Then, once I’ve recovered from my feelings, I repeat this cycle until I’m done with this terrible wonderful absolutely heartbreaking movie.

I had some major Reynolds feels when I went to Gettysburg. The last place I asked we visit was the site where he got killed.

(via awkwardspiritanimals)

Filed under Civil War

90,661 notes

allthingshyper:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

A pastor in Seoul, South Korea has created a “baby box” for people so that people who would otherwise abandon or kill their newborns can leave them somewhere safe instead. The box has a light, a towel lining, and a bell rings as soon as a baby is placed in it so the pastor, his wife, or one of his staff can come and get it right away.

Lee Jong-rak started the box in 2009, and has welcomed all babies, often disabled or the children of single mothers, that have been placed in the box since. The babies are given a loving home, food, and shelter in his orphanage. Currently, an average of 17-18 babies are placed in the box every month. 

One mother who had considered poisoning her baby before she heard about the Baby Box left her baby in the box with a letter pinned to his clothing that read: 

‘My baby! Mom is so sorry.
I am so sorry to make this decision.
My son! I hope you to meet great parents,
And I am very very sorry.
I don’t deserve to say a word.
sorry, sorry, and I love you my son.
Mom loves you more than anything else.
I leave you here because I don’t know who your father is.
I used to think about something bad but I guess this box is safer for you.
That’s why I decided to leave you here.
My son, Please forgive me.’

- ‘A single mother’s tearful letter’

Lee Jong-rak is the subject of a documentary called “The Drop Box”, which I haven’t seen - but I can recommend this 13 minute Dateline video. You can find the Facebook page for the BabyBox here.

GIVE THIS MAN A FUCKING AWARD

(via sociallyawkwarddeatheater)

Filed under good people